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I remember very few things about that period of my life.
My dad was running a family business. My mother was at home all the time. My grandfather homeschooled us so that we could learn how to read and write in Dari. My grandmother’s house was my favorite place to visit.The best part of lunch times were going to my youngest uncle’s shop. He had a shop that rented music and film copies. His shop was situated very close to our house and I would take lunch to him once in a while; I just liked the loud music from his shop that covered the entire street.I remember my neighbor’s girls going to school. My father loves flowers so we had a lot of them in our yard. The neighbor daughters would come and ask my dad if they could pick some flowers for teacher’s day.But one day all of this was gone.We woke up in the morning and my father was not there. I asked my mom and she said he had to go, but he will come back. Some people came to our door asking for my father and my mother told them he is not here.I remember my mother took us to my grandmother's house so that their neighbor could take care of us.When we were in my grandma's house I hated it because there was no one in there. The whole place was empty. After some days all my neighbors disappeared.My paternal grandmother who was living in Pakistan came to Kabul. They started selling things from my parents' house. I remember her staying awake the whole night and packing little things for us.She was the only one responsible for taking all of us to pass the border to Pakistan, all by herself - all five of her children and my mom - and no knowledge of the language in a strange country. I remember her running up and down after us and the little belongings we were carrying.After some days we went to Pakistan.
We were sent to torturing to learn Urdu and English.After six months of classes I and my second oldest sister we were admitted to a private secondary school that was partially paid by Aga Khan Education Services (AKES) and rest was paid by my parents.My two other sisters and my brother were admitted to kindergarten at the same school and expenses were paid by both my parents. The school gave us tests and they admitted me to the third grade. So, I started school from third grade.We soon had a had simple life again - but very different.Slowly we became accustomed to the life in Pakistan. In the area where we living there were only a few Afghan families, living far apart. Their children were older than us.We would barely see any Afghans around.We were so young that we could not help my parents. My mother and father would cook and, in the morning, help all of us get ready for school.We spent the whole day out of the house and came home late in the evening. The routine was basically school - to torturing classes - home for dinner - to religious classes - regular prayer - and then we walked back to my house with my mother.This was our regular life for all whole time that we were there.
Because of spending less time with our parents in Pakistan, we lost most of the language.When I was back to Afghanistan and we were admitted to schools. I was in 7th grade. There were 40 students in my new school, compared to the school in Pakistan where there were 5 students.I read all the Dari text in an Urdu accent and pronunciation. I had no idea about Pashto. I couldn’t understand most of the text that was in Dari in other subjects. My father started tutoring us for Pashto and Dari. I had to change the way I spoke. I had to change the way I sounded.I had to wear a scarf and longer clothes. I wasn’t allowed to talk in the class.As I grew older I started facing more problems.I couldn't live the way I wanted to. I couldn’t be the same person anymore.I kept fighting for it, but it almost seemed impossible. I didn’t have that perfect world anymore.I could feel the difference. Things were better than what I had heard, but still the society needed to go through a lot of changes.I got in a lot of trouble for fighting for freedom of speech in class, correcting teachers, speaking out against imposing religious ideas from my teachers and fighting for my grades.I was tired of hearing my teachers saying because you are a girl; you can’t do this and that.There was a time where I was lost; it was hard to accept all my teachers emphasising one thing and the way I grew up.
PART TWOWe hear news about suicide attacks.Girls go to school. People are working more hours and there are many cars on the street.Many school girls are older, since they missed the years of high school during the Taliban period. Women work more but the acceptance level is very low.When I was going to do my exam for the YES program, all my classmates were asking if I was allowed to do so.I didn’t see anything wrong with it and I couldn’t find a reason why my parents would say no to it. Later, my parents were the main encouragement. Since my story, a lot of girls have been allowed to go to colleges in different parts of the world.
It depends, if we are talking about the Taliban as a group, then yes, it has influences over some provinces of Afghanistan.
If we talk about ideology, then it has control over a lot of places - even if not physically, then certainly culturally, and in the thoughts that people vocalise.This is so because we have freedom on paper only - we failed to put new regulations into action. We force people to do something without teaching them the reason behind it.If people have believed something for years, it is hard to change it; it takes time.Women are not allowed to go to school. Women accept it because they don’t think they have another choice. Men create those rules because they don’t understand the future effects of it.There is an old saying that says, “You shouldn’t let your women to be educated because they turn into witches”.The quote is ingrained and powerful, despite its absurdity.It is widely believed that women will bring evil to society if they are educated. The most effective way to stop women being educated is to say that education will harm us... the idea of women turning evil if they are educated.Without education, women are simply puppets moved by different male members in the society. It is scary, to think that you can be led like a puppet.We need to teach the men that we are not puppets. We belong to society as much as they do. We are not here to lead them but to participate.
They have sent their soldiers to protect us. We thank them for that but, as a country, I believe there are certain limits we have to set for them.I think we really need them to give their skills to our soldiers, rather than feeding us today and, when tomorrow comes, they leave and we have nothing to hang on to.I really think they should invest more in empowering our police and soldiers.
They need to learn and believe in it. They have to understand the problems and find solutions. They know the society best.We have to educate them; find youth who are awake and can feel the pain. They will help their society.It is impossible for a few people to fix everyone.The important part is for the idea to grow. And that can happen when someone is from the same place and speaks in the same language as you speak. It is easier to understand that.No one can help Afghanistan, unless they do it themselves. . . I strongly believe that movement and change has to come from within the society.No one can do anything for us unless we do it for ourselves. And then the international community would be able to help more with skills, education and finance.
It is people who causes problems.There is no religion in the world that says to harm humans. Islam has given rights to women more than to anyone. It is not followed well.Religion has been used by male interpreters who have used religion for their own benefit.The Prophet’s daughter and wife were the closest to him. He was the one who stopped Arabs from burying their girls alive.According to Islam, it is duty of every man and woman to be learning and to be educated. If the religion puts that as a duty then how can it be against it?Likewise most of the other examples are like that.
After traveling I learned more and started appreciating good parts of my culture.It is different because since starting college I am more attached to my country.I used to always think about problems and it would stop me sleeping, but now I have a goal in life.Every time I go back I find more things to connect with and ways to fix the problems. I don’t believe that nothing can change in Afghanistan. Education definitely gives one more power to do things, or to have more influence.I know most of my friends have the same feeling.My country doesn’t have to be like this, it can change.
Whoever I met always told me that is impossible. I never stopped believing that it is possible.It is hard but not impossible.I always organised small projects in places I lived - but it did not make a big impact.Until we started working as YWC.It is an organization that I was thinking of but couldn't completely envisage.I wanted to work with young people. It is what we need - to bring in people from different places, different religions and different ethnicity.Difference makes us powerful - and we will show that through YWC.We are different in every way, different ethnic groups, religion and working filed, but we have one point in common and that is the idea that we want to work for Afghanistan and want to change it, regardless of the problems we face.
While working there, I learned about the power of media, especially in country like mine - where most people can’t read and write, but they can understand when I speak.I want to use film to get our messages across. I truly believe that YWC is the voice for every Afghan.We are tired of the same problems and people repeating our problems to us. It is time to change it.YWC will be joined by all Afghans, if not in person but they will all carry this idea which is what we need.The Street Harassment protest was a step to tell people that there are problems and hiding them won’t help. Simply talking about it only will not help either - so we had a campaign.We have lectures to educate people. Now I am working on a documentary that will talk about the streets and show the results of what we are doing in this society for so-called “correction of women” - we have to pay big price for it in the bigger picture.We have more projects that are mostly based on society and working closely with society.We are also working on connecting the police to people.We are working on bringing new ideas to schools and to the lower 'stratas' of the society.